


Do You Remember Me?

by dontletyourheartdistractyou



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, M/M, Reminiscing, Self-Hatred, and I am sorry, this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2015-09-05
Packaged: 2018-04-19 05:59:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4735148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletyourheartdistractyou/pseuds/dontletyourheartdistractyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I doubt it...</p><p>(In which Jake and Aleks miss each other and suffer from severe cases of self-loathing.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Remember Me?

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad Note: Similar to the last oneshot, this was a multi-pairing four parter with SlyPKC, KootraMexican and Dyle/McManning, as I wanted to showcase pairings in which one of them left the other behind. Unfortunately, I have been unable to write lately, so here is just one part instead. I may finish the SlyPKC part I had started, but it'll be a while now. This oneshot references 'When You Don't Get the Girl', one of Jakey's improvs, which I suggest you go listen to because it's really good.

Half of the songs I write are about you, you know.

I remember when I was the only one on your mind, when I was the one you would call late at night, when I was the one you used to hold on to with all your might. It's been years since those days, years since you walked off, years since all I saw was your back disappearing into a crowd, your suitcase behind you.

As the time has passed by, you've changed. Your hair used to hang over your eyes and cover your neck, now it's short, shorter than I'd ever seen, and whenever I watch your videos it just doesn't seem right. I'm used to seeing you hide behind that mess of brown, or when you'd brush it away to reveal bright eyes. Now, there is nothing for you to hide away, and I think that makes it worse, the thought that you have no sadness to lock away, that you're not thinking of me and crying inside.

It's a selfish thought, I know. I just want you to miss me. I just want you to be the same. To see those oversized hoodies over that scrawny figure, that beanie smoothing down that unruly hair, that awkward smile, that adorable giggle. You're so confident now, so much better than you were when you were with me, but I miss those moments when you would turn red and stutter. I miss the moments you would bury your face in my shoulder and tell me to shut up when I laughed a little too hard. I miss the moments when you were right next to me, when I could feel my hands on your body, when you actually cared for me.

You left so long ago, but these feelings never left along with you. They stuck, even when my heart broke. I should have forgotten you. I wanted to forget you. But I can't. You're like a special kind of drug, one that you can't stop. I'm hooked on Aleksandr Marchant and I don't think I'll ever be able to get off. 

You aren't like me. You don't think every day about me, you don't wonder what could have been, you don't stop and question, 'What happened to him?'. I know you don't. I'm not important anymore, I never was. I just want you back, Aleksandr, but you don't want me. Why did you leave? Was I not perfect in your eyes? Was I not enough? 

I try to get my feelings across through my songs, but I don't think you listen. Why would you? I'm the nerdy, glasses-wearing guitarist you left behind for bigger and better things. You don't need me. You have them. Sometimes, I wonder, why couldn't I be like them? Hilarious. Bold. Uplifting. If I was, would you be back by my side?

Tell me, how am I supposed to be the one you want? How am I supposed to be everything you need? I want to be the one you clutch onto with all the strength you can muster, I need to be the one you love. You're everything to me, Aleks. 

Please come back to me.

-

I miss him. 

I always have. Even now, when it's been years since I left him behind with tears spilling from my eyes and my hands shaking as I forced myself to walk away. You'd think after this long I would have gotten over it, but no.

I miss those little smiles of yours. Whenever you lips twitched, it was like the whole room would be blinded by your light. It was no matter whether or not they were wide or thin, genuine or strained, I just found them captivating. I miss your voice, the way it would resonate and send shivers down my spine. I miss your stupid jokes, your stupid laugh, your stupid hugs, your stupid everything.

That's why I cut my hair. People talk about new beginnings, about changing something to forget someone, so I took my anger out on my locks. It wasn't a drastic change at first, just a few bits gone here and there, but now it's so short compared to what it once was. Whenever it gets slightly long, I can feel your large hands, running through it, tugging, and it makes me feel sadder than I have in a long time. 

At some point, I stopped with the too big hoodies too. In public, at least. They reminded me of you, when we would snuggle under a blanket on the couch, watching horror movies, me swimming in one of yours. Little do you know, I snuck away one of yours. It's in my cupboard, and most nights, I'm curled up with it clenched in my arms, your songs playing in the background.

I'm pathetic, I know. I just want to see you again, to feel your arms wrapped around my back, to feel your nose buried in my hair. But I doubt you want that. You've got someone else, haven't you? I imagine you would. I bet they're so beautiful, so funny, so friendly, so outgoing. I bet they deserve you. I bet they would never leave you behind like I did. I bet they're so much better than me.

You deserve so much, Jake. You deserve the world, the universe. I couldn't be that. I wish I could. I love you so goddamn much, but I'm not what you should have. I have to keep away from you. I'd blemish you. 

I miss you.

But, after I while, I gave up trying to be what you deserved. You deserve to be happy. 

With someone who isn't me.


End file.
